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From a very young age, I was fascinated by human psychology, how they think, how they behave, why they behave in a certain way, why some people hide their emotions and why some people spit venom, why some people hurt others saying they are outright beings and why some people see the brighter side of everything.

So, when all these questions were playing hide & seek in my mind, my Dad exposed me to whole new world of discovering people’s mind through various journals on psychology but he used to read it out for me and used to narrate it with the help of stories and he was too good with that.

Slowly but steadily the urge to help people emotionally & mentally became true essence of my life. And the journey of my life continues meeting an array of different people with all their shades hues. And their stories and struggles have inspired me to be a better being and question my sanity & ability each time in getting to know them with all my propensity.

Last year in October, I met this vivacious lady who for some untypical reasons drew my attention towards her even in a very overfilled, over crowed place like a mall where the festive flavour was everywhere in its extremity.

What accentuate my wish to approach her and ask the quintessential question, ‘have we met before’ was her enchanting smile with a grim face as if she was hiding a helluva of emotions from me. And I went near to her just to find out that she was one of the participants in a workshop of mine long back. And there was a sea change the way she was looking compared to her hair to her attire, everything has got a new twist and she was looking million bucks in her new avatar. So, why was she gloomy & why that cheerful smile could not veil her dismal?

We indulged in a tete-a-tete over a cup of coffee (my hot, black, sweet, romantic, instant mood booster) about her career, marriage, relationship & many more. And from this one thing was crystal clear that she was consistently gulping all her emotions from quite a long time & developed an almost suffocating state where it has become strenuous for her to vent it all out. The bottom-line that I got from her suppressed emotions & deeply nurtured anguish is hard to fathom but that’s reality, how much harsh it may sound.

You Words are deadly

And the reality is.. she’s a victim of self-doubt, she was losing herself out, a soul that had lost its identity and the reason was her near ones (but can’t be dear ones) & close associates’ overused negative statements & critical words which had severely affected her psyche and in the midst of numerous activities she was finding herself completely cut off.
Yes, it happens & it happens most of the time with all of us that words play tricks in our mind, they make us laugh, they make us cry, they make us forget our miseries and they make us die.

Wise people say, “Words once said, can’t be taken back” & we know how much truth it holds. So, don’t be just wise but be word-wise. Words have the power to heal the world & kill the world, which side you tilt to should be your thoughtful decision. As the sessions were progressing and marching forward, it took me almost 3 months to rinse the toxins out of her thought process slowly but steadily and to make her feel good about herself.

Having those hurtful feelings for years she had caved her real soul somewhere deep inside and was even scared that she could ever live a life of being herself and feeling proud for the same. Most of us, in our life must have faced the same situation where we carry the negative baggages of people throughout our life making it almost frightful for us to come out of the clutches of self-doubt or even I could go to the extent of saying self-hatred, where we hate ourselves for being the way we are. The societal pressure is always unreasonable be it about your skin colour, be it your height, weight or even the gender you are born with, people always have a say on these & you have to live with the stigma attached to it.

Words hurting a girl

Like Nirupama, I have met many bruised souls those who have lived life in harsh circumstances where the bullets which have hit them hard, the weapons which tore them apart were people’s piercing sharp words which were enough to make their life hell like. They might be staying in plush bungalows, beautiful mansions along with the luxuries of life still the loneliness they bore in their hearts is unimaginable and annoyingly real.

The words that we use as a mode of communication should be empowering & soul healing, but it must not put someone’s dignity at stake, should not drag someone downward & should never make someone’s life miserable to live as well as breathe.

Because I truly cherish a song by ‘Boyzone’ which goes like “It’s only words and words that all I have to take your heart away.”


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Ruheena Priyadarshini is a positive psychologist, professional speaker, and communication expert. She designs and develops seminars and workshops for Corporates, Universities, Institutions and conceptualizes various modules for Parents, Teachers & Students on Positive parenting, Self-growth, Positive attitude developments and other customized topics.