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Last week, I was sitting in a cafe waiting for a meeting to take place and peeping outside with curiosity as well as with excitement as the streets were being decorated like a bride following a season of festivities such as Navratra, Dusserah, Laxmipuja, Diwali, oh, all these Indian festivals, celebrations, observations. So I was equally doing my part of observation looking in and out and around. Being a people’s person, this is my side of exploring the nuances of peoples’ nature as well as studying their intricate minds’ work through their body language, their gesture or posture. So, when all these human learning processes were on, I got a call from my client who informed me that her car got broken down in the middle of the road and she was in a fix how to fix her problem? She convinced me that she would fix it up within a short time and apologized also for reaching little late. That little extra time that I got certainly gave me ways to get into peoples’ mind even more and dug into it deeper.

When I was sitting there, quietly observing and resting my hands on the table, something totally perturbed me almost instantaneously when I saw a young woman entered the cafe quite in an uneasy and unsettled manner, pulled the chair in a jittery state and her sight was very disturbing and unresting. Without thinking twice, I asked the serving boy who was just passing by, to give that young girl a glass of water. She almost drank it in one single breath when it was being offered without even realizing that she didn’t ask for it to the waiter, so, how come he served her a chilled bottle of water? When the cafe boy pointed at me, she smiled a bit and thanked me though it was not audible but her lip sync did the trick.

My professional aspect that’s of a counselor is happily married to my personal aspect that’s of a people lover, so, automatically, I was drawn towards her to comfort her because seeing someone that restless was pretty good enough to put me on my toes. Our connection was built the very minute she felt my concern for her and straightaway she poured her thoughts out to me knowing I could be a big help to her turmoil.

Sometimes people succumb to themselves, to their worries, to their miseries, thinking now who would listen to them, who would lend a helping hand to them or even brother to care. So, they keep everything to themselves and slowly but steadily immerse in an emotional defunct state knowing they could never be back to normalcy again.

And when I indulged myself into conversational mode with that girl, I realized her anguish and suffering are not something unusual or unconventional rather that was the story of almost each of us who bear societal pressure in terms of our skin colour, the pimple on our cheek, our height, our weight, the way we sit, talk or even walk, the dress that we wear, the vehicle that we ride, almost on anything and everything, people have a say, it bogs us down, tears us apart, wrenches our soul and leaves us tormented as well as frustrated.

But the big question here is, why it’s so easy to get devastated by other’s version of our beings, why others would decide what kind of life we must live and which personality to adopt to ?? Tagging someone with some kind of a name clearly shows an inability to understand and comprehend other’s situations adequately, it shows a self-limiting thought pattern where thoughts are purely biased and it talks volumes about people’s insecurities who put others to shame through their improper, insulting and taunting words. So why we would give these sort of immature behavior, such kind of inadequate inability to connect to someone, so much importance? Why we can’t let it all go? Why we can’t have a little sense in differentiating what’s good for our mental health and what’s not? At the end of our tete-e-tete, finally, I was happy that I could help that young bright girl in living her life minus any bias and prejudices, any tags and ridicules, any taunts and provokes, any misconducts or maligning verbose.

Believe me, my sensible readers, it’s no rocket science, rather it’s easy as well as effortless to simplify our life and very seamlessly it can be accomplished. Let’s shed the unwanted stuff out of our life, be it people, memories or experiences or anything that sucks the hell out of us. If you don’t like it then your time is not worth it, rather invest your time and energy in something that refines you, empowers you and prepares you to become what you must be. Always remember, anyone who doesn’t care for you or who is not concerned about you would never understand you and if they don’t understand you then how could they appreciate you or love you for that matter and the reality is if they don’t love you they have zero respect for you. Any relationship to bloom and grow further two most vital elements are love and respect and in the absence of these two, the base of any relationship is fragile and superficial. So, the mantra of life is to simplify it but never complexity it.

  • Let’s discard them who don’t regard us.
  • Let’s dump them who enjoy seeing us fade.
  • Let’s reject anything that drains us off completely.
  • Let’s beautify our life by owning a mastery over it.
  • Let’s grow with identity, individuality, potential and substance.
  • Let’s become empowered to live freely, jubilantly and wholeheartedly.
  • Let’s promise to simplify our life with soulfulness, freshness and awesomeness with good people, novel thoughts, kind gestures, substantial deeds and let’s nurture golden caring hearts.

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Ruheena Priyadarshini is a positive psychologist, professional speaker, and communication expert. She designs and develops seminars and workshops for Corporates, Universities, Institutions and conceptualizes various modules for Parents, Teachers & Students on Positive parenting, Self-growth, Positive attitude developments and other customized topics.