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The other day, Shilpi, my long-time friend called me to invite me for a coffee time at her place along with some of our close buddies. And it was that same night when my sister was reaching far from Delhi, and for obvious reasons, I was super excited to meet her after a pretty long time. But I didn’t want to give my cuppa coffee a miss. So, I asked her, can we skip it a day or two further, so that my sister could also join us. My sister (who’s my beastie for life) is a game for our group too, cause all of them know her from long & bond with her really well. Hearing this Shilpi instantly responded with a big ‘YES’. So, here my ‘NO’ for the occasion turned out positively for me as she equally reciprocated very enthusiastically & immediately with a wide ‘YES ‘.

Ruheena Priyadarshini with her friends

With Friends

But life is always not this easeful with a ‘NO’.

‘NO’ has its own setbacks as it might mar or ruin a relationship completely cause this two letter word sounds as harsh as an obvious slang & crushes our soul almost instantaneously.

And the reason why ‘NO’ has got all the negativity of the world wrapped all around it and is always viewed & thought in such a negative light, is just because we never give an explanation after it, we always try & find out excuses after saying a ‘NO’.

Explain why you said ‘No’, not always & not to everybody of course but to them who truly matters to you and saying a ‘NO’ would put you in a guilt-feeling zone, at-least have clarity before them after saying ‘NO’.

Saying NO

A big size, wide ‘NO’, how much a bad word it is believed & perceived initially by the listener who gets it from you, but in the long run it will be proved beneficial both for you & for the person (who is getting a less acceptable ‘NO’ from you) as your genuineness   and honesty will be judged by your sincere ‘NO’. Just see the opposite side of it, saying a ‘YES’ to everything & to everybody has bigger & scarier consequences in life. When you say ‘YES’ beyond your capacity, you just want to please the person but that has a momentary effect as in the long run your productivity is going to be declined, you’ll feel frustrated cause your hands will be already full with innumerable ‘YES’ for which you have no ‘YES’ as an answer.

And the impact on you would be severe like:

  • your authenticity would be under scanner.
  • you would run out of time for everything.
  • You’ll anyway make some people happy & some obviously not.
  • And in every case it will cost your mental peace.

What about all these negativity happening in your life after series of ‘YES’??

So, is this worth of putting all the efforts, time and energy in saying ‘YES’??

Or just get real and accept that you have a capacity up to a level to accomplish things within a time frame & you must stick to it. Once you start respecting your time, others will, once you start taking responsibility while saying a ‘NO’, others will also respond to it responsibly and positively.

When you say ‘NO’ with good intention & with a good reason, then it beautifies your relationship quotient, it makes you more discipline, a better decision maker & someone with great character & self-control.


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Ruheena Priyadarshini is a positive psychologist, professional speaker, and communication expert. She designs and develops seminars and workshops for Corporates, Universities, Institutions and conceptualizes various modules for Parents, Teachers & Students on Positive parenting, Self-growth, Positive attitude developments and other customized topics.